Sensual Resensitizing
We live in a society where we are assaulted by external stimuli to excite and arouse us. Of course the more we rely on the external the less we are aware what’s going on the inside of us. We progressively become more numb to our own inner pleasure centres, and consequently reach for stronger and more addictive ways to have fun to toxic levels.
Naturally, the porn industry welcomes this; after all it means more revenue, so produce more to entice us with more titillating and hooking material. Neurochemically the brain response patterns are the same as with crack heroine.
Neuro-scientists know that pornography addiction is a “chemical addiction” generating a reaction in the brain very similar to street drugs. The neurochemical release triggered by viewing pornography is so strong that it is also referred to as an “eroto-toxin” and the most powerful drug in history.
Cellular-memory groups and neural pathways are formed in the brain and body, thus making outside stimuli to access and activate them unnecessary. The brain is wired as such that images, feelings and information can be brought up simply by using your imagination.
Pornographic images stored in the brain cellular-memory groups and neural pathways can permeate the whole mind-body network. Pornographic images can pop up at the most inappropriate time, especially during intimate time with the spouse.
Then there is sexual fetishism, or erotic fetishism (also called paraphilia) which relies on any physical thing (traditionally, an inanimate object) to achieve sexual arousal or satisfaction. When a person becomes dependent on these devices as well as pain to derive pleasure from, typically there is little sensitivity left to enjoy intimate times with just two bodies intertwined and each spouse deriving pleasure out of satisfying each other.
This blog is not intended to go deeper into these subjects, hence it’s only outlined briefly above.
Thankfully, though, for those who desire to detox and resensitize themselves and their partner to actually derive pleasure from experiencing heightened sensations and feelings from touch and loving presence, they can embark on a most powerful and delightful bliss adventure path together.
Part of what I teach is retraining the brain and re-patterning habits. For example, during and relaxation exercise, focus on non-genital togetherness. Learn and understand the various different erogenous zones both on yourself and on your partner. Take time to prepare bodies, such as giving a feather massage, or a finger ‘rain-drop’ massage, or a massage with essential oils, etc. Explore all the senses.
In this blog I use playfulness with food and hope to inspire the creativity of my readers. There is also a growing collection of actual food recipes, all tested and tried. Check out The Essensual Epicurean Lover at www.epicureanlover.com
If you are a man reading this, here is a powerful tip: The important thing is that you DO NOT CLOSE YOUR EYES and retreat into your own world of self- pleasure which shuts out your wife! Retrain yourself by being totally present and deeply enter her with your eyes and your heart, and feel the bodily sensations, consciously. This is a powerful way for a man who was used to mental imagery to retrain his mind and brain to focus on the actual physical touch sensation and being fully present with his wife. This will take some real conscious effort which is well worth it!
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© Copyright A.R. (“Geli”) Heimann – Intimacy Wellness™ 2010. All Rights Reserved
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Intimacy Wellness™ – how to have an extraordinary relationship & sex life
Geli Heimann BSc (Hons), MSc, Sex, Relationship & Pleasure Expert, Intimacy Coach, Psychologist, Adult Sexuality Educator
For more check out: www.intimacywellness.com
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